Motherhood has been a wild journey, so far. It’s interesting to look back at what I expected about parenting from before I ever had even the thought of having kids, or from when I first found out I was pregnant, and compare it to what I’ve learned since then. I’ve been parenting this human for 14 years now and I know I have a million more things to learn as time goes on, but these are some of the things I’ve learned.
Lessons Motherhood Has Taught Me
Your kids will hurt you sometimes. Whether it’s a complaint about your cooking, or the dreaded “I hate you!” there is a good chance that your kids will hurt you. You can choose to let yourself feel hurt and victimized by that or you can choose to learn healthy coping mechanisms.
No matter how prepared you think you are, you’re not. But you will figure most things out as you go.
You can often tell how much some people love you by how much they love your children. Friends who treat your children as if they are their own do so because they love you so much that your family becomes theirs.
Everything you’re going through, thousands of other people have gone through too. It might be tempting to imagine you’re the first and only person to ever experience this specific thing, but that’s not the case. That can either make you feel less special, or less lonely depending on how you choose to look at things.
No matter what the struggle or the issue, someone else always has it harder and it’s impossible to properly quantify things like that anyways so don’t even bother with that competitive garbage. It’s just not worth it.
There are many different ways to be a good mother.
The world is a scary place, and becoming a mother really makes you aware of that.
Becoming a parent can really make the way you see your own parents shift. You may have a new appreciation for the things you didn’t realize were as significant as they were, or you’ll see some of the things you thought were normal in a new – and not always so flattering – light. Try to not dwell on the negatives (unless they’re impacting you significantly still, then something like therapy might be a good idea) and try instead to always strive to do better.
Even the most well intentioned choices can blow up in your face.
Patience, patience, patience, patience. Breathe.
Everything you do is teaching your kids something, whether it’s how to treat others to how you react when things get tough. Try to model the behavior you want them to grow up following, but also forgive yourself if you don’t always get it right. You’re human.
Things you think are obvious aren’t necessarily obvious to your kids. Remember that and try to be patient. Don’t assume they know how you feel.
Your kids are their own people, not an extension of you. Yes sometimes their behavior will be a reflection of how you’re raising them and the values in your home but they are also going to grow to have their own opinions, beliefs and values and that’s a good thing!
Sometimes you have to put your ego aside. It’s not always about you, even if it involves you. Especially if your kid is confiding in you. Especially, especially if your kid is confiding in you about something you’ve done that hurt them.
Your kids deserve to have lives without your involvement in every single aspect. You don’t need to know or be involved in every detail of everything they do (more applicable as they get older.)
It really does go by too fast and it’s true when they say to just slow down and enjoy it because you’ll blink and a decade has passed.
Sometimes you have to put yourself first so you have something to give. As the saying goes: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
One of the most beautiful things you will ever experience is witnessing your child being authentically, 100% their true selves.
One day you’ll barely remember the hard days.
If I’m being totally honest, that barely even scratches the surface of all the lessons I’ve learned. But it’s a start.
Alright, I want to hear from you now. What are some of the best lessons you’ve learned about motherhood? Leave me a comment and let me know.