I hate the Elf on the Shelf.
There. I said it. You can leave me any number of hateful comments if you wish.
I don’t necessarily dislike the Elf for any one particular reason. I’m not some huge Grinchy Scrooge who hates fun and Christmas and magic. I don’t go out of my way to insult or belittle the people who are obsessed with that damn thing. I just find it…creepy.
To be fair, I have seen tons of really awesome Elf on the Shelf…shenanigans? My own (future) sister-in-law (not the one who opened my eyes to the wonder of the Instant Pot) has two adorable (creepy) elves that she busts out in December and I love seeing the pictures she posts of all the cute and creative ideas she comes up with.
But I still don’t want one – and have never wanted one – in my house.
Maybe it’s because the idea of a doll moving around the house and watching our every move just gives me Chucky vibes. Maybe it’s because even though I’m a fairly creative person, the idea of needing to come up with a new idea every day (and not forgetting, lest you ruin the magic!) gives me hives. Whatever the reason, I have a fairly negative instinctive reaction to the elf. So negative in fact that I vowed that if one was to ever end up in my home, it would shortly find it’s way into the garbage. (And then probably right back on my kitchen counter the very next day because that’s how these things work! Have NONE of you seen any doll-based horror movie!?)
Luckily for me, my kid is 13 now so I think the Elf days have passed us. Even when she was younger, she never mentioned this Elf that seemed to be taking over everyone’s homes. As far as I know, she wasn’t too emotionally damaged by the fact that everyone else seemed to have one in their house and we didn’t (maybe I should check on that…) And I certainly wasn’t going to introduce one into our lives if I didn’t need to. So I didn’t. And we have lived blissfully Elf-free ever since.
The funny thing about not liking the Elf on the Shelf is that you can’t say you don’t like it, otherwise people who happen to love it will get mad at you, or at the very least extremely defensive. It’s almost like they think you are personally attacking them in some way.
Here’s the thing, if you love the Elf, good. I’m happy for you. I hope you come up with tons of great ideas for how to set up that (potentially evil) thing around your home to delight and amuse your children for years to come. I even genuinely enjoy seeing the pictures you post (as long as they don’t get too close to the face *shudder*) and all the incredibly creative scenes you create. Just because I don’t like the elf doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it or that I’m judging you because you’re into it. I just don’t want one.
We definitely could all use a little more magic in our lives, this year especially.
But please don’t be offended that I hate the Elf. We don’t have to like the same things. I’ll still like you. Unless you give me an Elf. Then we’re done.